Dalton Humphrey (Bob Bainborough) is an antiques merchant who will sell virtually anything at the Humphrey's Everything Store. He is a friend to Red Green and helps out with the Lodge's operations, and he is a renowned cheapskate, often taking his cheapness to an extreme. When he isn't trying to convince people that his junk items are in fact priceless antiques, he is either trying to find or invent some scheme to make money, or complaining about his troubled marriage with his wife, Anne-Marie.
Dalton has an adult daughter, Tabitha, and as such he takes his fatherhood very seriously. (Harold has described him as a "control freak", which he takes offense to.) He complains about the prices on most any item his daughter wants to buy, as well as her dating habits.
Dalton will usually try to spend as little money as absolutely possible, even to the point of jamming a gumball machine with a penny when it requires a quarter (even Red calls him out for being that cheap). This also extends to his family: When he married Anne-Marie, he gave her a rubber washer from a garden hose as their wedding ring, and he replaced it with a brand new washer on their twentieth anniversary.
In earlier seasons, Dalton is usually very focused on (and very serious about) his business and his family, and most of the segments in which he appeared revolve around these aspects of his life. Later in the show (and particularly when Harold leaves for two seasons), Dalton appears to be higher-spirited and more active in general Lodge activities, sometimes coming up with them himself. His hair style also gradually evolves through the course of the show, changing from a short straight cut to a wild mess.
- Sex: Who cares
- Eye Color: Shrewd
- Address: Humphrey's Everything Store when it's closed
- Weight: That's what Dalton does best
- Date of Birth: When everything was cheap
- Hair Color: Rusty mouse
- Aliases: Dalton Harumphrey
Anne-Marie, Dalton's wife, is both a source of pride and significant worry for Dalton. He seems proud of his marriage to her, but also talks at length about how troubled their relationship is. Anne-Marie is usually quite suspicious of Dalton (probably with good reason most of the time) and is openly critical of his activities. As a result, Dalton usually tries to hide his activities from her.
Anne-Marie makes several appearances on The Red Green Show (voiced by Jennifer Irwin), but she appears only as a silhouette or with her back turned to the camera inside her house. In the final episode, however, she appears with Dalton in Possum Lodge, where they renew their wedding vows (however Anne-Marie's face is obscured by her bridal veil).
According to Dalton in one episode, Anne-Marie is deeply religious and refuses to let him open his store on Sundays.[needs verification]
In his debut season (Season 4), Dalton's last name and the name of his store occasionally read "Humphries". According to RedGreenJrTV, this was due to typos in the script that resulted in the Everything Store sign being printed with the incorrect "Humphries" name, and Steve Smith would do his best to roll with it until the error was corrected in later seasons.