Red's Sage Advice (also known as "North of Forty" and "Midlife Musings" ) is one of the longest-running segments on The Red Green Show Red Green sitting in front of a desk at his office in Possum Lodge by telling a story to the viewer. Nearly all of his stories took place in the lodge, even though he may be addressing their wives, as well as children in some cases. Stories vary widely and have included "Apologizing to your wife", "Don't get mad, get even", and "How to avoid becoming an old geezer". At the end of each segment, Red was known for saying: "Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.", after that, the light dims, leaving the office dark.
In the Season 6 episode The House Raising , Red's nephew Harold Green filled in for him to talk about older men, advising them on how to tell their favorite stories without annoying younger people. He ends with a variant on Red's signature catchphrase: "Remember, you're on your own. Don't push it." Because this segment is never referred to by name in the show, "Red's Sage Advice" is given as a working title. Other similar segments include Red's Advice to Teenagers and Buddy System , in which two Lodge members trade off in giving rapid-fire advice to men facing trouble in their relationships. This segment debuted in Season 4, and ran until the end of the series.
Stories Season 4
Episode
Story
The Beef Project
Why not to say anything when you have nothing to say
The Hydrogen Project
Why not to get eyeglasses
The Badger Project
The whereabouts of Red's generation's music
The Electrical Project
Why older men should leave their shirts on
The Marine Show Project
Revising one's dreams to something more realistic
The Ski & Golf Project
Clues that your body is changing
The Rustproofing Project
You have been invited to play bridge
The Movie Project
Couples who have been married a long time
The Painted Leaves Project
How to tell when you are about to lose your job
The Stuck Truck Project
About losing your sex drive
The Group Photo Project
Why you now feel tired all the time
The Mt. Rushmore Project
If you've just turned 50
Season 5
Episode
Story
The Satellite Dish
Hints that you may be middle-aged
Father and Son Banquet
How to respond to your wife getting you new clothes
The New Doctor
How not to drive like your dad
Medieval Times
Why do young women start flirting with you?
Possum Lodge Radio
You can barely keep your eyes open and it's only 8:30!
Sedgwick the Thief
When you suddenly have new neighbors
The Cement Load
A word about.....memory loss
The Gas Shortage
When you discover you have wrinkles
The Lost Dog
How to enjoy hobbies without sharing your toys with your kids
One Man's Garbage
On trying to look young again
Bottled Water
Why not to date your old girlfriend
The Not-Chicken Franchise
Still looking good
Homemade Cheese
Middle-aged men know everything
Season 6
Episode
Story
The Science Fair
Why men don't ask for directions when lost
Sedgwick The Tenant
How men fix everything with duct tape
The Driving Lesson
The truth about wisdom and how to fake it
The Tax Refund
Your wife's urge to have that one more child
No Church
Motivation towards diet and exercise
Good Goverment
Enjoy yourself now rather than wait for retirement
The Poker Game
Give your kids good advice
The Drill
When your husband has nothing to show for his whole life
Bernice's Birthday
If you're thinking about getting re-married
The Church Casino
Becoming a step-dad for the first time
The Love Boat
On realizing you don't know everything
The Girlfriend
About signing up for baseball at your age
The New Lease
Scary thoughts in the middle of the night
The Baseball Tryouts
Your friends are starting to look old
30 Minutes or Free
Red talks about self-help books
Fund Raiser
You can't control what people say about you after you're dead
Real Estate
The seven stages of parking
Season 7 Season 8 Season 9
Episode
Story
Harold's Job
Marriage problems
The Fishing Derby
"Watch this"
The Bachelor Auction
Men getting chest implants
Angel
Your kids as future caregivers
School Bus Blimp
"I forgot what I was going to say"
Coup De Grass
Getting in trouble for trying to help out
Rent A Wreck
Why not to get facelifts
Curse Of The Mummy
Why not to fix anything that is broken
Roll Out The Barrels
Men trying to find names in the obituary
No Retreat
Men over the age of 45 should not expect much from their bodies
The Battle Call
What to do when a woman asks "Do I look old?"
Hurricane Doug
When not to say anything
Guinness World Records
"Don't get mad, get even"
The Auto Club
Conspicuous consumption
Season 10
Episode
Story
Sausage Envy
Difference between the way men and women shop
Foster Child
Arguing
What A Dump
The risks middle-aged men take
Winston's Wedding
Technology
Man Of The Year
Picking the right friend for heavy-lifting projects
Survivor
Selectively losing your senses
Historic Site
Memory loss
Twinning
Turning out like your parents
Lunar Eclipse
Staring at stuff
Barter Starter
Superpowers
Out Of The Woods
The description of a junk junkie
Cheap Jeep
When you should keep your mouth shut
DNA All The Way
The law of diminishing returns
Who Wants To Be A Smart Guy
Wives making lists
The Beaver Dam
How to have good manners and how bad manners will be in the future
The Dandruff Foundation
How chemistry and testosterone are the main components of men
Damn You Emu
Why not to ask for help on a project
No Duct Tape
Men and women's views of parties
Season 11
Episode
Story
New Job In Town
Your wife says you have too much junk in the garage
Gladiator
Make yourself look "good for your age" with a fake I.D.
The Whooping Crane
When a couple stops to ask for directions
Back To Nature
A word about self-confidence and people skills
Dalton's Hot Gift
Even tough guys can be crippled by a cold
Viva Las Possums
A word about men's magazines and women's opinion of them
Y2 Cans
Your friends are starting to sound like old geezers
The Ghost Of Possum Lodge
When you start talking to yourself
The Chainsaw Races
Lessons you need to learn as a married man
Something In The Heir
Taking care of your parents
Daredevil
The temptation to quit and try something new
Mike Goes Straight
A use for ugly, unflattering pictures of yourself
Xmas In July
Success and failure
The Fishing Derby
Some thoughts on having a successful marriage
Harold's Dilemma
A word about stupid and careless drivers
Red Green Does New Years
The midnight kiss
Season 12
Episode
Story
Go Fish
A word about getting older
The Possum Ponderosa
Men are naturally untidy
Possum Air
Don't try exploring the wilderness at your age
The I.Q. Test
If you're thinking about changing careers
The Day Of The Sunflowers
If you haven't taken very good care of your body
Reality Television
A word about cellular phones
Possum Lake Provincial Park
"When does middle-age begin?"
The Silver Wasp
A word about your wardrobe
Snowed In
Morning people shouldn't marry night people
The Go Go Bars
About encouraging your kids
The Missile Crisis
Don't mistake useless trivia for knowledge
Never Send A Man
Red talks about life before computers
Power Struggle
Telling a story as a couple
Mr. Possum Lake
How couples dress after ten years of marriage
Red and Breakfast
When your wife goes shopping with you
The Moosetrap
When your wife is disappointed in your gift
Stupid Cupid
Red talks about bald spots
Season 13
Episode
Story
You've Got Oil
Watch your language
The Drive-Thru
Reading ads in public restrooms
School Demo
Fantasizing about younger women
Change Will Do You Good
Moving into a smaller house once the kids are gone
The Earring
Red ran into an old friend who is "going great"
Mailbox Wars
If you've had a beard for years, don't think about shaving
The String Ball
Using your free time after you retire
The Spelling Bee
Why men draw so much attention to themselves
Pay It Forward
A word about men shaving their bodies
Possum Day
When the kids start asking about the inheritance
The Boat Ramp
When your looks start to go
Comrade Harold
The stages of life are like sandwiches
Spokesman Red
How a song can define a relationship
The Chain Letter
Thing started going bad when they invented automatic transmissions
The Women's Circle
Being on the wrong side of the "generation gap"
Ranger Harold
When your body doesn't obey your orders anymore
The Sinkhole
Not being the center of attention anymore
Season 14
Episode
Story
Red's Hot Sauce
Men own many different vehicles in their lifetime
Life Is a Circus
When you're too old to be playing sports
Once More to the Well
There are people out there much smarter (and younger) than you
The Statue
A word about your eating habits
False Idol
Older men should not be doing any wild dancing
Harold's One and Only
Recognize when it's too late to do something
The Grapes of Wrath
Women have higher expectations than we do
The Lodge Election
Love is not "never having to say you're sorry"
Ticket to Fame
Red has started losing things
Stay Tuned
Nostagia for the 80's
The Butter Man
Losing your excitement for the holiday season
Red Green Insurance
Brand new jeans with that "lived in" look
Lodge Luau
When you start needing glasses
Hoard of the Flies
Father and son businesses
A Shot in the Dark
When people turn to you for advice
Bye Bye Bonnie
Red talks to women about the changing needs of men in the bedroom
Fishy CANUSA Games
Advice for any couples who have been married a while
The Possum Drop
When you need to find a girlfriend for your wife
Season 15
Episode
Subject
Rules of Engagement
Red criticizes bloggers
The Folk Art Convention
The value of public relations
Mr. Clean
It never hurts to buy a gift for your significant other
No Tell Boatel
Why did I get into television?
Cell Hell
The value of arguing with your spouse
Cart Blanche
Great packaging and names can help sell things
New Yorkshire Puddings
Broadcasting poker on TV
Exit Stag Right
Older men and loose change
Mad You Say?
Leaving things till the last minute
No Place Like the Home
Needing more income
Flying Blind
The value of foresight
The Bigger the Better
"Men don't communicate"
The Big Retreat
Passing milestones
Rites of Passage
When teenage playboys get older
Sasquatch
Comedians don't tell jokes anymore
Rain Man
High-definition televisions
Love is in the Air
Nobody wants to listen to you anymore
Toe the Line
When you get crabby no one wants to be around you
Do As I Do
Saying goodbye