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Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services

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Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services is the company wholly owned and operated by Winston Rothschild. Winston spends most of his time on The Red Green Show promoting his aerobic septic system parts business almost any way he can, whether via direct advertisements interspersed throughout the show, or by slipping in a catchphrase or slogan during other segments.

This segment ran between Season 4 and Season 15

Advertisements by seasonEdit

Season 4Edit

Episode Summary
The Beef Project "Don't get hosed somewhere else!"
The Firewood Project "We know what's coming down the pipe." (idea for consulting firm)
The Hydrogen Project "We put the 'P.U.' in 'pump'!"
The Schoolhouse Project "Your sewage is our bread and butter."
"If the neighbors are complainin', better start drainin'."
The Badger Project "If you can't bank on your tank... we'll take it from rank to swank."
The Ski & Golf Project "We'll take that smell off your hands!"

Season 6Edit

Episode Summary
Maxi Golf "No tank too big, no tank too small, teacup or cesspool, we suck 'em all!"

Season 7Edit

Episode Summary
Swiss It Up "Service with a smile, even on hot days!"
The Stool Pigeons "If your tank overflows, I'll be there with my hose."
Let Me Count The Ways "If your eyes are stingin', my phone should be ringin'."

Season 8Edit

Episode Summary
It's A Wonderful Red Green Christmas "Whenever you call it, I'll up and haul it."
"We do it all, so you can, too." (old slogan)
Life Cycle "We make sure bygones are bygones."

Season 10Edit

Episode Summary
A Very Merry Red Green Christmas "When there's no room at the inn."
"We're going to pump you out!"
"We're Y2K compliant!"
"...we'll take plenty of dough in before it starts snowing and Santa's ho ho hoing, 'cause we're sucking, not blowing."
"Discounts for vegetarians."
Sausage Envy "If you're down in the dumps, 'cause your lawn is full of lumps, call me, Winston, and I'll be there with my pumps."
Twinning "Space, the final frontier. Sewage, the final back-tier."
Who Wants To Be A Smart Guy "There once was a young man from Turkey/Whose septics were plugged up and murky./They blamed it on lead/From the pipes in the bed/When the culprit was too much beef jerky."
The Beaver Dam "I'm Winston Rothschild, III, and I suck sewage!"
The Dandruff Foundation "If roses are orange and violets are black, sounds like your septics are way out of whack!"
"If you're blushin' from all the flushin', I'll come rushin' to stop the gushin'!"
Damn You Emu "When doody calls."
"When you get the news that your septics have the ooze and it's giving you the blues and getting on you shoes, call me, Winston, and I'll put it back in cruise."
"Love means never having to see your sewage."

Season 11Edit

Episode Summary
Gladiator "When it smells so bad it curls your toes, and soon it gets into your hair and your clothes, don't stand out front, holding your nose, get me out back, holding my hose!"
"If you come to sit down to dinner and there's a nine-inch flame on your candle, you better get your septics pumped out, or you'll have more on your plate than you can handle!"
Dalton's Hot Gift "When the fumes have melted your patio chairs 'cause your lawn is a toxic spill, when your breathe it burns all your nostril hairs and makes your pet skunk ill, when your septics have you at the end of your rope, call us, the people with skill. With Rothschild's, you know you always have hope, 'cause we can take it, and we will!"
Viva Las Possums "We don't just suck."
The Ghost Of Possum Lodge "When your septics go bad, there's no one to blame. No need to apologize or cower in shame. Call for a pump-out; Rothschild's the name. It beats losing your home in a huge purple flame."
"It's cabbage season."
Something In The Heir "You'd better call Rothschild's Sewage today, 'cause that soggy mess is here to stay. Whatever goes up, comes down, they say. But whatever goes down doesn't always go away."
Masquerade Marathon "For city folks, there's public works. For everyone else, there's Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services."
"When you're hit with an aroma that buckles your knees, and your property smells like prehistoric cheese, call us, we'll handle the problem with ease, before your neighbors keel over with each passing breeze."
"If your ground seems unusually soft, if each time you breathe, you let out a cough, if the cows roll their eyes and barf in the trough, better call Rothschild's before the lid blows off."
Harold's Dilemma "I love sucking sewage; it suits my style. I'd rather be in sewage than live in denial." (heard in the Word Game)
"People sometimes call me a chump. They say I'm too small to handle a dump. But I can suck up any size lump. It's not the length of the hose, it's the strength of the pump."
"If your home is starting to smell like a barn, and you're a thousand miles from the nearest farm, call before the stink does any more harm. Don't wait 'til it sets off the smoke alarm!"
"When your septics need cleaning 'cause they smell unkempt, it happens to everyone; no one's exempt. Call your friends at Rothschild's. We hold no contempt. We'll suck out your sewage, or die in the attempt."
Red Green Does New Years "May your septics never cause you a tear. May they handle your chili beans, bratwurst and beer. May your tank run on empty throughout the new year. But if not, my pump and my hose are right here."

Season 12Edit

Episode Summary
Snowed In "You always get your septics pumped. Your tank's as clear as a bell! But be sure your neighbor gets his done, too, or you'll be a victim of second-hand smell."

Season 13Edit

Episode Summary
The Drive-Thru "If your leaves are turning color, and it's only July, maybe it's time to give Rothschild's a try!"

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